Yummy -- our second class novel! (also by G. Neri)
SHORT STORIES (by MAJ Scott)
MAJ Scott's Near-Deadly Encounter with an Arachnid
The time was 7PM. MAJ Scott was watching her favorite team, the Pittsburgh Penguins, playing game 3 in round 2 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. During the intermission between first and second periods she had to use the restroom. She had just relieved herself when she noticed an odd-looking arachnid. She had never noticed an animal like this before. "Is that a spider, or a cricket?" said MAJ Scott to herself as she stooped closer to observe it. As quick as a whip, the Rhaphidophoridae jumped at MAJ Scott and scared the living day out of her! MAJ Scott screamed at the top of her lungs. It was the most piercing, high-pitched scream and it left a ringing in your ears long after it ended. Thank goodness MAJ Scott had already used the lavatory or she probably would have peed herself in fright. She ascended onto the windowsill and balanced there precariously until help arrived. The poor spider-cricket was eradicated with a broom but MAJ Scott still had nightmares of the creepy creature for the next week!
Urinetown Synopsis
In the not-so-distant, imminent future, a terrible water shortage and 20-year drought has led to a government ban, or make it illegal to own private toilets. The only way for people to use a restroom is to pay to use public toilets, which are owned and operated by a single megalomaniac, or one big, crazy-person-owned company: the "Urine Good Company." If the poor don’t obey the strict laws prohibiting, or banning free urination (that's pee-ing), they’ll be sent to the dreaded and mysterious “Urinetown.” After too long under the rule Caldwell B. Cladwell, (he owns "Urine Good Company" and all the public toilets) the poor stage, or start, a revolt. This uprising is led by a brave young hero, Bobby Strong, who fights for the freedom to pee “wherever you like, whenever you like, for as long as you like, and with whomever you like.” A brilliant satire, or funny exaggeration that criticizes what people do wrong, modeled off the plays of Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brecht, Urinetown is very funny, fast-paced, and intelligent.